Alwareness June; Being True to Yourself

One of the first things I discovered about myself on my journey towards self realization was that it is massively important to me to (learn to) be authentic.

Time for my own truth. I asked what being true to myself meant for me, which became who am I? I asked the question for many years before it became plain to me that all  answers to the questions that plague us.  All the answers reside in the physical body. The loops in our head of self attack, the judgement, criticism, the understanding of the nightmares and sweet dreams, the answers to the why's of sickness.

The answers are inside us. They reside in the body's twitches and tingles, the tiny shocks and tensions each and everyone of them is a message, sometimes a word, but it can be a sentence or a paragraph. Firstly they are often a message of our general dehydration. Beyond that they are about our discomforts from a soul, historic, genetic and core level with the choices, decisions, comments, actions we take and make. 

When you feel these indications from your body. 'Place' your attention at that spot. Feel the sensation, if you can give it a texture, colour, weight, do so. It is not easy. If you feel really uncomfortable put two nostrils in the centre of the place and BREATHE IN! Imagine there is a lot of space in you, in your mind. And the answer, the message your body is trying to communicate to you will come. A clear indication of the step(s) you need to take.

Everything and anything you NEED to know the answer to, lies literally in your body. Learning to listen to these signals is the simplest way to connect to your truth. Simple but not easy. Learning to listen and pay attention to your body is not easy.

Children are taught to ignore their bodies messages from the youngest age. They learn that their truth, being in their truth, listening to their truth is a dangerous place to be. As adults it is no longer as dangerous. Maybe still as uncomfortable for those around you however, the more you do it the better it feels.

Be aware that this is WORK. There is an ocean of pain stored in our bodies from each and every attack, negation, avoidance. If a person want to avoid going there, it is completely understandable (but unhelpful to your journey to your true self).

To come to our true self we need to be prepared to step slowly into that pain acknowledge that it is there and has a right and a reason to be. Acceptance of our damage is the first and most important step towards healing it.

Happiness is achievable. Possible but unlikely to be easily. Happiness has to be created. Think of it like the steps to building a house. You can just start and put it together as you go along but it will be quicker more efficient and you can guarantee that you get what you want if you have a plan and if you do the vast majority of the work yourself. Simple, certainly, absolutely pretty much as far from easy as you can get.

Always remember that the main barrier to becoming happy is that our whole belief system, the moral structures we live under and within are designed to keep the individual as far a possible from defining, let alone working on the things that make them happy.

If you were really happy, would you go to work? There are very few people who look forward to making the money they have decided they need for the things they have chosen to bring them transitory happiness. We 'have to' work to pay for social life, home, car, holiday, clothes, make up, shoes, smells, children. Many think that the feelings of gratification and pride they achieve from the things they have bought (include many partners in this) are happiness.
But true happiness is something completely different. Mostly it is fleeting moments that pass almost before one is aware.







Try being willing to unsubscribe
to the notion and mores of traditions
of an elitist hierarchical, violent, self aggrandizing,
monotheistic, oppressive, inhabitance of personal space.

Work to to fill the energetic spheres with the essence of presence,
allowing all other essences and presences in their passage, in their way

Refuse to adhere to notions of fear,
Hold cautious awareness for the knowledge
and possible appearance of the predators,
who advocate and prosper in the notions, the motives, the traditions,
superstitious power mongering, amassing;
The appropriation of planet as an asset is
sick, sad, fearful, greedy, isolating,
destructive ultimately, intrinsically, unfulfilling

Benzoin EO

This golden, aromatic, thick, resinous oil with a vanilla-like aroma has been used for thousands of years, in some of the oldest civilizations for religious ceremonies and as a medicine.

Styrax benzoin is a tree with hairy, oval leaves and fleshy, greenish yellow flowers, it grows to about 20 m (66 ft). Originating in Laos and Vietnam, now grown in Malaysia, Java and Sumatra. Benzoin is the gum resin which exudes from the bark when tapped, the trees produce resin for about 15 to 20 years.
The name is derived from the Arabic (luban-jawi), ‘frankincense from Java’.

In addition to it's document use by the Ancient Greeks and Romans: In 1461, the Sultan of Egypt, Melech Elmazda, sent the Doge of Venice 30 rotoli - 80kg/177lb! The Queen of Cyprus received 15 rotoli from the Sultan in 1476. In 1623, the British set up a factory in Siam (Thailand) to produce and export benzoin.

Nostradamus, gave many recipes using benzoin in a script published in 1556. He classified it as antispasmodic and a tonic for skin infections. In France it was noted as; a pulmonary balsam, taken for colds,‘flu and as an anti-asthmatic. In Britain it was also used as an inhalant and application for ulcers and wounds.

I always keep it in the house and use it undiluted on small wounds and scars, to heal and reduce them respectively - I have sensitive, keloid skin

It's main properties are;

Antidepressant - It uplifts mood, stimulates the heart beat and improves circulation. 

Carminative – flatulent, its relaxing effects relieve inflation of the intestines. It relaxes muscular tension in the abdominal area helping gases pass out, which helps digestion and improves appetite.

Cordial - when inhaled and transmitted to the brain, it stimulates the nervous centre, the heart beat and improves circulation giving a warm feeling. 

Deodorant – Antiseptic – Anti-inflammatory - Anti-rheumatic - 

Relaxant/Sedative - relieves anxiety, tension, stress in the nervous and neurotic systems, relaxes anxiety and stress and tranquillizes. One to be avoided by students, particularly when they intend to study over night.

Disinfectant -an excellent antiseptic, a very effective germicide, bactericide, fungicide and antiviral substances. Its smoke disinfects the zone in which it spreads. Applied externally, it prevents sepsis.

Diuretic - facilitates urination, in frequency and quantity, helping remove toxins from the blood. Urination also helps lower blood pressure, lose weight and improve digestion.

Expectorant - loosens mucus from the respiratory system - trachea, bronchi, lungs - which relieves congestion and eases breathing. Benzoin's tranquillizing properties relax and induce sleep during extreme coughs and colds, it is also used in balms, rubs and vaporizers.

Vulnerary – heals minor wounds

Astringent – causes contraction of skin cells and body tissues, this reduces bleeding from minor abrasions and makes the skin less oily.

Alwareness March 17 - 2 continuing on the theme....

In my opinion there are only two types of women, those who have orgasms like falling off a log and those who have to make an effort to have an orgasm. The girls who have orgasms like falling off a log are usually slaves to the Quim and the larger group who don't see sex largely as a tool or a weapon. Which is not to say that the first group don't or that the second group don't enjoy sex, never have orgasms or aren't also ruled by queen Quim

For myself I can't see the point of having something attached to you or a part of your body that people want to grope but that has little if any sensation. It seems to me that if women are willing to cut through their breasts and in many cases of breast reduction cut off their nipples as well as their inner labia lips so they have breasts and vagina's that they think are more attractive, they cannot be getting much pleasure from these more attractive places. Which means that our sex education is seriously messed up.

How many women listening think it's disgusting or strange, weird, inappropriate, not done to pleasure themselves? If as is the case with far too many women you have no idea how or can't give yourself an orgasm how and why on earth would/do you expect someone else to be able to?

To truly enjoy getting the benefits of getting older we need to come into our sexuality. As you get above 40 having orgasms becomes easier. Unfortunately by the time they get to 40 lots of women have had so many horrible or just inadequate sexual experiences they are not interested in it any more. This is actually cutting off their access to simple and easy rejuvenation.

Some women say they like anal sex. Every one I asked said no they didn't like it the first few times but they got used to it and finally got around to liking it. I remember doing that will alcohol and I wish I hadn't bothered!

One woman said that she'd finally had an orgasm while having anal sex but a longer conversation showed that actually she was just starting to have easier orgasms in general and they were much better when clitoral or vaginal.

My advice to all women of all ages is to get into defining and enjoying your sexuality. Independantly of another especially men.

Once you get over 40 you are too old for guilt, kick it to the kerb. Learn how to pleasure yourself, if you don't already know and give yourself physical, sexual pleasure as often as possible.

I've been talking a lot recently about rape. I think it is important to address what is actually a very common occurrence in our society from childhood to old age. Women all over the world are being raped as I speak.

When I bring this up a sad number of women and far too many men dismiss rape experiences as a 'bad fuck' There is no such thing as a bad fuck. There is either two people engaging in a mutually pleasurable and exciting experience or there is rape.

I am blessed and cursed to have a partner who will not engage in sexual activity with me unless I am fully present. Whenever my mind wanders, if I have a flash back or in anyway am not 100% engaged he stops. Doesn't matter at what stage it is. His doing this has taught me that most of my sexual activity has been rape. Just because you (I) don't(didn't) fight against it or possibly even say anything doesn't make it less so.

Every sexual experience where you were un engaged, uninvited to enjoy each sexual activity, every sexual experience that you were coerced into or did because it was easier than getting home or getting into a fight or argument or where you were too drunk to take part, or where you agreed to do things that did nothing for you – were rape experiences and every single one of them has damaged your ability to connect to your true sexuality and pleasure.

When you can start to admit that these experience were rape, you can begin the journey of connecting to your ability to rejuvenate your core energy. You can begin to recreate the internal connections between your emotional, spiritual, physical, mental and your sexual sides. You can begin to enjoy what it means to be an older woman.

Yes, there can be issues with lubrication, in my experience all lot of that is to do with the fact that most of us are dehydrated the vast majority of the time – a couple of glasses of water and jojoba or coconut oil – both of these are 100% natural fluid waxes so they are fine to use with sex toys which makes them so much better to be putting on or inside you than the nasty (expensive, petroleum derivative) silicone oils that women (and men) are usually persuaded to purchase.

At this point in your life there is a freedom from needing to fear pregnancy (for the heteros) – obviously by this time you know your body and it's cycles so well, you know when the one week is that you can get pregnant and avoid it or take precautions! You know yourself well enough to be able to just explore your sexuality.

Our enjoyment of our sexuality is a baseline connection to our spirituality, which is the key to understanding ourself which is the key to becoming happy.

Alwareness January

Hoe kan je veranderingen aanbrengen in je leven, how can one affect change in their life?
Kunnen wij onszelf iets nieuws aanleren, En hoe dan ? How do we teach ourselves something new?
Wat als het niet lukt, Hoe ga je er dan mee om? What if you can't learn? How do you deal with that?

Iets anders proberen ? Try something else?

When I look at this list of questions, I see is that the last three questions deal with themselves.

What if you can't learn? (I will come back to this.) Wat als het niet lukt, Hoe ga je er dan mee om?

What if you can't learn? How do you deal with that? Iets anders proberen?

Let's accept the first of the three questions at face value. OK you can't learn. How do you deal with that? The last question is the answer. Try something else.

It doesn't actually matter what you try because trying is exactly that, it's a test, it is a promise that is only limited by your imagination. Having no imagination is more of a problem than not being able to learn.

In truth I do not believe that anyone is unable to learn. Everyone is incapable of mastering some things, some people will take much longer to learn one thing than another. Everybody is capable of learning most things. Some people can learn many different things, others a very limited number or possibly only a facet of things. Some people can teach anyone how to do one thing. Some people can teach anyone how to do anything. It can depend on the teacher. Some 'teachers' unfortunately, can't actually do it for al their learning. All they every do, is instil in people the fear that they are incapable of learning. So before you try anything, remember to consciously ignore, anything negative, any teacher, ever, has said to you!

Which leads back to the answer as question – Always be prepared to try something else.

Some say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, others you're never too old to learn. It's as simple as that. Which one do you believe?

Then there is the issue, that what we believe changes from day to day, if not hour or even minute to minute. On a a good day it is easy to believe in ones limitless potential. Try telling yourself that you have limitless potential on the first heavy day of your period, or when your boyfriend or boss just kicked your ass to the kerb.

Try telling yourself you live in a world of limitless possibilities all geared towards you when your child is in an ambulance or operating theatre or hospital bed.

It's all comes down to what you believe and what it means to you or what you do, when you believe something.

Is your belief; a call to action, a call to stride forward and stand up for justice? Justice as defined in your own terms, by your reactions and responses to the events and people around you.

Or is your belief, the pat line, that gets you off from being forced to engage with the other two leggeds around you?

When you state your beliefs or belief system(s) is it shorthand for; 'Now leave me alone, if you are not on the same page' or are you saying; 'So, what do you think? And how can we find out more about each other'?

Our beliefs are an indication of our attitude to learning.

Learning and enjoying learning; being willing and able to learn or seeking to learn; being perfectly happy with everything you have learnt up until now; having a desire to stop learning and do something, even nothing else. Or having not enjoyed anything that you have been taught. Or knowing that learning involves pain, negative judgement, criticism and failure?

We all have different reactions to the idea of learning. Each of these thoughts, knowledge, convictions or beliefs will take a person to a completely different life experience.

The first two questions are again question and answer.

Hoe kan je veranderingen aanbrengen in je leven, how can you we affect change in our lives?
Kunnen wij onszelf iets nieuws aanleren, En hoe dan ? How do we teach ourselves something new?

You change yourself by learning something new. Any acquired knowledge changes the recipient. If you learn something it changes you. When you have learnt something you are different from the person who learnt or was learning or wanted to learn. - If you need that explaining you have to pay me for my time, you can contact me via Radio and TV Alwareness!

Kunnen wij onszelf iets nieuws aanleren, En hoe dan ? Can we teach ourselves something new? And How? These are the core questions for the month of January.

It is easy for me to say, of course we can teach ourselves something new, isn't it? (Not really!)

Are you happy and contented with everything about where you are here and now? (I wish I were.)

Something tells me that if you were, completely satisfied you wouldn't be listening to this radio program or checking this website. Nor would I be here.

Of course, this could be your favourite hour of fun. Listening only to ridicule, sitting with a couple of friends and laughing yourselves backwards and forwards from the toilet to the radio, remembering to drink water and stay dehydrated so you actually have some laughter to piss. (I was told to explain this joke. In English we say 'pissing yrself with laughter' because so many of us have surely come close if not actually done it!)

Are you listening to this program (reading this article) because it confirms to you that you have made all the right choices in your life. Are you are happily sailing, coasting and fully enjoying the journey of your life?

My guess is that if you are still reading, listening to this program, it is because you are dissatisfied with many of the options you are presented.

Is there a niggling little voice inside you telling you, that you are NOT this that. Your life/choices/possibilities are NOT limited to this that. Is there a niggling little voice inside you telling you, that there are other dissenting, niggling voices that could take you somewhere else?

If you listen to the niggling, if you give credence to that feeling, if you choose to trust the rebel in your belly then you are already in a state of learning. The next step is open willingness and grace.

We have limitless possibilities, only our refusal to explore them (fear) holds us back. What will others think? What will it cost? What will we have to give up?

How do we know we have limitless possibilities?

Only by trying.

The literal translation of the work karma is action. Our actions, the things we do, our habits, our beliefs are the deciding factors in what works or does not work towards creating our happiness. Happiness is 'The Greater Vehicle” which is the translation of the meaning of Mahayana.

Interestingly I can't find a translation of the word 'grace' that is acceptable (to me). Gratie, genade, gunst hmmm.......No! I mean a space, a feeling, the innate knowledge, of true beneficence, plus power and ability to use and apply both (power and beneficence) in every moment.

Although it is encapsulated in in NMRK*. This is a determination, an affirmation, a mantra that I wrote for myself that I would like to share with you.

I am open and willing to receive the lessons the universe brings me, with courage and grace. I know and trust that the universe is intrinsically benign. I understand that my learning comes to me as I choose to perceive it. I am receiving these lessons as loving gifts.

Ik ben open en bereid om de lessen die het universum mij brengt te ontavangen met moed en 'grace'. I weet en vertrouw erop dat het universum intrinsiek goedaardig is. Ik begrijp dat my lessen komen zoals ik kies om ze te ontvangen. Ik ontvang mijn lessen als liefdevolle geschenken.

*Nam Myoho Renge Kyo – Devotion(alignment) with/to the Mystic Law of the universe (cause and effect) / a commitment to creating world peace beginning with oneself and immediate surroundings.