In
my opinion there are only two types of women, those who have orgasms
like falling off a log and those who have to make an effort to have
an orgasm. The girls who have orgasms like falling off a log are
usually slaves to the Quim and the larger group who don't see sex
largely as a tool or a weapon. Which is not to say that the first
group don't or that the second group don't enjoy sex, never have
orgasms or aren't also ruled by queen Quim
For
myself I can't see the point of having something attached to you or
a part of your body that
people want to grope but that has little if any sensation. It seems
to me that if women are willing to cut through their breasts and in
many cases of breast reduction cut off their nipples as well as their
inner labia lips so they have breasts and vagina's that they think
are more attractive, they cannot
be getting
much pleasure from these more
attractive places.
Which means that our sex education is seriously messed up.
How
many women listening think it's disgusting or strange, weird,
inappropriate, not done to pleasure themselves? If as is the case
with far too many women you have
no idea how or can't
give yourself an orgasm how and
why on earth would/do
you expect someone else to be able to?
To
truly enjoy getting the
benefits of getting older
we need to come into our sexuality. As you get above 40 having
orgasms becomes easier. Unfortunately by the time they get to 40 lots
of women have had so many horrible or
just inadequate sexual
experiences they are not interested in it any more. This
is actually cutting off
their access to simple
and easy rejuvenation.
Some
women say they like anal sex. Every one I asked said no they didn't
like it the first few times but they got used to it and finally got
around to liking it. I remember doing that will alcohol and I wish I
hadn't bothered!
One
woman said that she'd finally had an orgasm while having anal sex but
a longer conversation showed that actually she was just starting to
have easier orgasms in general and they were much better when
clitoral or vaginal.
My
advice to all women of all ages is to get
into defining and
enjoying your
sexuality. Independantly
of another especially men.
Once
you get over 40 you are
too old for guilt, kick it to the kerb. Learn how to pleasure
yourself, if you don't already know and give yourself physical,
sexual pleasure as often as possible.
I've
been talking a lot recently about rape. I think it is important to
address what is actually a very common occurrence in our society from
childhood to old age. Women
all over the world are being raped as I speak.
When
I bring this up a sad number of women and far too many men dismiss
rape experiences as
a 'bad fuck' There is no such thing as a bad fuck. There
is either two people engaging in a mutually pleasurable and exciting
experience or there is rape.
I
am blessed and cursed to have a partner who will not engage in sexual
activity with me unless I am fully present. Whenever my mind wanders,
if
I have a flash back or in anyway am not 100% engaged he stops.
Doesn't matter at what stage it is. His doing this has taught me that
most of my sexual activity has been rape. Just because you (I)
don't(didn't)
fight against it or possibly
even say anything
doesn't make it less so.
Every
sexual experience where you were un engaged, uninvited to enjoy each
sexual activity,
every sexual experience
that you were coerced into or did because it was easier than getting
home or getting into a fight or argument or where you were too drunk
to take part, or where you agreed to do things that did nothing for
you – were rape experiences and every single one of them has
damaged your ability to connect to your true sexuality and pleasure.
When
you can start to admit that
these
experience were rape,
you can begin the journey of connecting to your ability to rejuvenate
your core energy. You can begin to recreate
the internal connections between your emotional, spiritual, physical,
mental and your sexual sides. You can begin to enjoy
what it means to be an older woman.
Yes,
there can be issues with lubrication, in my experience all lot of
that is to do with the fact that most of us are dehydrated the vast
majority of the time – a couple of glasses of water and jojoba or
coconut oil – both of these are 100% natural fluid waxes so they
are fine to use with sex toys which makes them so much better to be
putting on or inside you than the nasty (expensive, petroleum
derivative) silicone oils that women (and men) are usually persuaded
to purchase.
At
this point in your life there is a freedom from needing
to fear pregnancy (for
the heteros) –
obviously by this time
you know your body and it's cycles so well, you know when the one
week is that you can get pregnant and avoid it or take precautions!
You know yourself well enough to be able to
just
explore your sexuality.
Our
enjoyment of our sexuality
is a baseline
connection to our spirituality, which is the key to understanding
ourself which is the key to becoming happy.
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